"Barbie's gotta be worth millions, I say we sue her, sue her plastic butt." Joking about a clip that Jane Skinner showed him during the Skinnerville segment


"I guess if I order like RCs and Krystal burgers and stuff like that they'll know I'm a redneck."  Shep joking about airlines profiling people using what passengers request for food


"Mmmmm, soil" Shep commenting after a segment about people who eat dirt and clay


"The weather also causing traffic jams and knocking over two, uh, two marionettes, maybe that is.  Minarets. Something.  There might have been marionettes out there, if so they'd have been knocked over too.  (Pauses for quick laugh)  Ah, I'm a moron.


“More freaks, good” Shep’s response to American Idol extending the beginning of the show


"This just in from the research department in the mayor's office in the town of Skinnerville, where they have been to Websters dictionary and they've come up with the second reference in the definition to the word, dingleberry... is incompetent, foolish, or stupid person.  Dingleberry, hmm, I guess that would be me."


SHEP & NEIL (Talking about Shep's voice while he was a bit sick that day)

Neil Cavuto:  "Shep, I'm listening to you, you sound like Barry White."
Shepard Smith: "I am Barry White."
Neil Cavuto:  "You are Barry White."
Shepard Smith: "Yeees."
Neil Cavuto:  "Alright."


"Out-foxing the competition since Fluff was a kitten."


"...if TV ran the free world.  TV doesn't run the world?"


"Wicked awesome"


“Popsicle anchors tomorrow”  Joking about reporting in the cold (Jan ‘05)


"Would you fall down or something, so we have a little, oh well.  This guy, he's no good.  Oh wait, wait, wow, he's a loser.  That's it we're out of tape.  Today it's our Shot of the Day.  He's no fun at all." Talking over footage of extreme biking off of cliffs


"You know, when are they gonna just shut up and leave us alone?" Shep commenting on a court case against file sharing (March '05)


"Yahtzee! (big pop sound) Wwwwow! That's the first time a bulb ever blew out especially when I was screaming Yahtzee." (March 05)


"Smoke and fire! And the lighting people coming in. Man, alive. What would Bill O'Reilly do?" (March '05)



Jane Skinner: "But next month they're launching new coffee so..."
Shepard Smith: "Oh well then, that'll solve aaall the problems. Drink enough coffee and that big ol' massive sandwich will just go right through you and cause no damage. Right? Okay. Good to see you, Jane."
Jane Skinner: "Love the potty humor on a Monday." (March '05)



Shepard Smith: "If we could get one-twentyth, if one twentyth of them to watch us."
Jane Skinner: "So this is all just sucking up to the American Idol fans?"
Shepard Smith: "Ahhhh, yes. Absolutely."
Jane Skinner: "We love your honesty." (March '05)


"Doom and gloom on wallstreet, eh! An up tick today, baby!" (April '05)


"There are often cookies in Skinnerville, but never any sex. Not ever." (May '05)


"And now you know the news for Cinco de Mayo 2005.  That's 05-05-05, which means Bill... is naked."


"...in countries around the happy marble."


"Thank goodness for the Fox News Channel in Canada.  I don't know how they survived all these years up in Canada, eh."


"It's whack!" (June '05)


“I've always hated LSU, but LSU is a contender. CNN is not a contender.” When Verne Gay compared LSU vs Ole Miss with FNC vs CNN, Fast Chat with Shepard Smith, Newsday (June 19, 2005)


“Oh, that was a good answer, wasn’t it? That was live on international television, thanks so much for that!” After I guy in New Orleans dropped an F-bomb on air (Aug '05)


“That is perspective! That is all the perspective you need!” Shep frustrated while reporting live from New Orleans during the Hurricane Katrina aftermath on Hannity & Colmes (Aug '05)


“It Viagra’ed on me.” His answer when Dr. Garner asked what a medical device did when Shep was holding it and it grew (April 06)


“You know what we could do. We could go terrorize CNN.” Shep and Jane talking about going to Atlanta for TV convention, (April '06)



Shepard Smith: "Eric, it’s really my honor. "

Eric Burns: "It’s the least I can do for the senior anchor among evening news men."

Shepard Smith (as he throws papers off of his desk): "Sshhhut up. It’s so stupid, isn’t it? " (April '06)


"A strip to Skinnerville." Hehe, he meant to say "trip" (May '06)


“What a freakshow that guy is.” Shep talking about himself on a trading card Jane showed him, (June '06)


" The Dow is gettin’ all jiggy with it” (June '06)


"No pundits, no discussions, just the news." One of the lines Shep says before a commercial break on the FOX Report




“I was a bad student. I was always talking, cutting up. I wanted to go outside. I loved sports.”


“There are risks working in mines and risks in doing what we do. You go where the stories are. We do it because we think it’s important for Americans to know what our government is doing on our behalf. Replying on press releases from the White House isn’t enough. We have to go out there and look for ourselves.”


“The more secretive a government is, the more skeptical we need to be. News is not broken in a White House correspondents’ briefing room. As journalists, whenever we don’t get information right away we have learned that we have to pay more attention.”


“I like a busy screen. You can’t give me too much information. I don’t mind the whoosh. I don’t mind the sound effects. I don’t mind anything that brings people to our product. Fill that screen up. Make it yell at me. Zing me.”


“I was this geeky, horrible-looking, weird thing. Too skinny, a horrible accent.”


“One day Fox asked me to go to New York. I think the network saw something in me. Part of it may have been a sort of quirky, poorly dressed, long-haired Southern weirdness.”


“Some people have come to believe that we are the right-wing and on the hip pocket of the administration. I don’t toe anyone’s line. The moment they try to tell me to distort reality, I tell them to fuck off. It has never happened.”




"Would you just decide already!  Huh?  Man, I'm getting tired of this, aren't you?!"


"Have you heard about this 269 to 269 (pauses for a chuckle) possibility?  Then the house gets involved.  Then we all sit around and cry together."


"Polls, I don't know whether you believe these polls.  If somebody asked me a question, I'd lie to them intentionally just to make them squirm."


"Brand new poll, just off the presses, Kerry 45, Bush 44, Nader 1, and then that last line, liiiers 8%.  Or that's my thinking."



Shepard Smith: "Somehow Fox News Channel and Wal-mart have hooked up, so that either FNC or your local Fox station will be on in 2600 Wal-marts across the nation on Tuesday night, so you don't miss your fix of news returns and election returns fair and balanced."
Neil Cavuto:  "I'll be doing live reports from Burger King, by the way Shep."


"Clearly satellite fraud"  joking about Bush interviews not getting out because a satellite wasn't working